Expectations, then...disappointments.

MITIGATING THE HURTS THAT COMES WITH DISAPPOINTMENT.

      

           Friend, welcome again 🥰.

             Sometime  ago, I got a new phone, and as usual, it came with a charger. Because this phone was a higher brand than all those I've used before, coupled with all the rants I heard about  the extra power that comes with follow come chargers😂, I protected this phone's charger with an utmost care. To be honest, left to me, I would not have loved to share this charger with anyone, but normally, as the Nigerians that we are, someone somewhere just had to beg you😔🤦. Sometimes, they could even use it in your absence if kept carelessly. So, somehow I still shared. All the same, I still took very good care of that charger, such that even as I shared, my heart went out with it.

         Then one day...this beloved charger just stopped responding. Just like that. I mean an abrupt end. No warning signals,no symptoms, no real fault on my part. It just gave up on me down there in the middle of the road.

            Where exactly did I get it wrong? If the judgement we're to be based on care, I did so much more for that charger than any other I had ever had. Yet others, even gave warning for sometime, before they finally packed up. Either, they begin to have partial contact, or get loose at their ends at first. This was the last charger that I would have expected this kind of heartbreak from. Not just heartbreak...but with no prior notification.

 

            This is just an example of what plays out in life everyday. You give something your best, yet it comes crashing mercilessly in your face.

Well, it is what it is.

           Life happens. People happen. And in my friend's voice...shit happens!!.

             Even the best, disappoint. No matter your level of care and commitment, most times, we can simply hope, and pray for the best to come.

            To be honest, I really didn't want to bring the rape issue which has been a trend for sometime into this matter, but I can't help but chip this in....that ugly act in Uwa's case, took place in a church. Yeah...the house of God.

             Because the other parties have not been caught, so that we can hear their own side to the story, we are still working based on the evidences laid out to us. One of which is that she was innocent, and did not deserve such treatment. Another being that going to that church to read, she had all sense of security there. If she had any chance to ruminate randomly on what and what could possibly happen to her there, rape and murder would probably be the last she would think of.

            

Well, it did happen....and yes, there....in the church.

That's it. What we get out of life. The list is endless.

           But, you know what, despite all, we still move. Yeah, we keep moving. No  matter how bad the disappointment comes, we really just can't sit there grieving endlessly, without taking any step to reduce our hurts, while yet waiting for death to catch up with us. 

          And, with all of these presentations, life gives you two options. You either find ways to get through it, or get stuck making the same mistakes, and grieving over the same hurts over and over again.

            We would not be bitten twice by the same thing, so we have to find ways to get through it, and reduce our hurts. I assembled the following tips to help mitigate the hurt that come with disappointments. 

•       Reduce expectations... 

                You are free to expect so much from yourself, or a program, it helps you work hard with a clear cut goal, and also remain focused. Expect so much from God too. You'll see reasons to talk to him everyday.

                But as regards expectations from persons?. Please just quit it. When a promise is not explicitly made to you, can you just stop making the promises in your mind on behalf of that person, and hoping it comes out as you have imagined? The after effects of what expectations cut short can do to a person, is a totally bulky topic we can't go into today. As much as you give off the right attitude, and be nice always, don't always expect the highest from persons. If you can't totally quit the expectations, then reduce it so well, that you don't hear your heart pounding when that "big" person fails to give you something "big".

• Engage in activities that give you peace of mind.... 

         For example,  If you want to lend money to someone, why not give an amount that won't really be an issue if you don't get it back. Especially for someone you know would not really like to embarrass with the question of "when will you pay me?", and the likes.

             This is just one example. Others abound.
             Friend, in all, your peace of mind is paramount, and if you're not getting it from whatever you're engaging in, you might as well, want to reconsider.

• Be ever ready to get the worst even from the best:            

               Something  happened sometime ago on a platform I belong to. There's this stuff that persons run from time to time on the platform. It's more like a giveaway. Anybody could come up and decide to sponsor it, and lucky persons would quickly contest, and the winners would claim the prize the sponsor put out. As usual, we always look for ways to be naughty, so sometimes some persons would indicate that they wanted to do, and after persons won at their hand, they'll fail to release the price, and say they were only joking.

               We just had to live with this, and keep competing, while praying that your sponsor doesn't find another story to tell. But as it is with diminishing returns, the vibe for participating was dying gradually. Cruise was now a norm, and persons were no longer interested again. Then one day, someone out of the country indicated interest to sponsor one of the sessions. By default, there is this huge respect we have for foreign numbers, as we saw them as people who had no time for meaningless jokes, plus this person attached the highest amount ever mentioned on that platform. And so, almost everybody keyed in. We all wanted to partake of the prize, and so we did a lot of preparations, and all hopes were high. Then the time came. The contest was carried out, and winners actually emerged. Then time to award the winners, our beloved foreigner refused to release the prize. Though, there were a lot of controversies as to what made him behave in that manner, yet it doesn't erase the fact that our foreigner, from whom we expected the very best, let us down ruthlessly.

      Till date, many of us are still in shock. It was the last outcome we expected, and from the last person. Well, like I said....it did happen.

• Value Your Uniqueness: It's something you would never find in any one else. And if you value it enough, you could always come through for yourself, and for others, when there is a disappointment. If you do this more often, you hardly have unrealistic expectations.

                              Let me end with this. Grace has the final say almost always, if not always. So, never stop praying. It's not always about your efforts.

              Thank you very much for reading till this point. I value you so much. We are in this together, we'll overcome the hurts from disappointments together. You have any suggestions, comments, or questions? Do leave them in the comment section below. Don't forget to hit the subscribe tab above, so you get the first updates whenever I make a post. Take care, I won't be long. Your favourite writer, Joy💜.